The app

30 Days & 30 Ways

A journal of concepts, questions and tools for couples who want more. One day at a time, together. Read it or let Stephen read it to you. Write privately. Share only what you choose.

Coming to the App Store and Google Play

Privacy · Terms

The first five days are free. The rest is $7.99 once, and your partner is included.

How a day works

One idea. Two kinds of writing. Your choice what crosses over.

Each day opens with a quote and a short read, or Stephen's voice if you would rather listen on a walk. Then you write for yourself, privately. That never leaves your phone.

Then you decide what your partner gets to see, with simple rules that keep it kind. Their side stays sealed until you have sent yours. One day unlocks per day, on purpose.

Each page here goes a little further than the app: a few more minutes from Stephen on the subject, the books and talks behind it, and a door to coaching if you want it.

The thirty days

The Basics

The Lightbulb Moments

Day 5 Free
Love Is a Choice, an Action, and a Verb
"You cannot build a lasting relationship with someone who believes love is just a feeling and not a choice, an action, and a verb."
Day 6
Swim Out Past the Breakers
"Real love starts when you swim out past the breakers."
Day 7
Happy Wife, Happy Life Is a Lie
"Happy Wife, Happy Life is the greatest relationship lie ever told."
Day 8
What You Look For, You Will Find
"Your brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones."
Day 9
If It's Hard, It's Not Meant to Be
"Most marital arguments cannot be resolved."
Day 10
If Two People Agree on Everything
"If two people agree on everything, one of them is redundant."
Day 11
Respond vs React
"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response."
Day 12
Resentment
"Nothing on earth consumes a man more quickly than the passion of resentment."
Day 13
All Time Is Not Quality Time
"All time is not quality time, but no time ain't good"
Day 14
Bids: The Smallest Unit of Love
"Look at that boat."
Day 15
The Seasons of a Relationship
"Nobody warns you that real relationships have weather patterns."
Day 16
Listen for the Feelings, Not the Words
"All criticism, attack, insults, and judgments vanish when we focus attention on hearing the feelings and needs behind a message."
Day 17
Love Seeks Closeness, Desire Needs Distance
"Love seeks closeness, but desire needs distance."
Day 18
Men Only Want One Thing
"Men only want one thing."
Day 19
Two Kinds of Wanting
"Where spontaneous desire appears in anticipation of pleasure, responsive desire emerges in response to pleasure."
Day 20
The Myth of 50/50
"It's never 50/50. Ever."
Day 21
Right or Married, Pick One
"Your ego needs you to be right. Your relationship needs you to be understanding."
Day 22
The Soulmate Myth
"A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life."
Day 23
The Blame Escape Hatch
"Blaming your partner for your problems doesn't just tell them the problems are because of them. It attempts to justify your inaction."

The Four Horsemen

The Tools

Want a guide, not just a journal?

Stephen coaches couples one on one. A free 15-minute call to find out where to start.